The girls and I last summer.
7.20.2005
Countdown to the end of summer school....
Aaaah!! I am seriously so bored with this class!! I am just so irritated with it. I turned in two shitty assignments, in which I got two shitty grades. I didn't care because we can do rewrites, but time is ticking to get those done as well, and I still find myself dinking around on the Internet and watching movies, etc, when I could be working on them. I told Mom about how I was really bored and she said to try my hardest and remember that it would be done soon. So now I feel a little guilty because, clearly, I am not trying my hardest and I don't really intend to. I guess I'll do what I feel like and if that means taking a bad grade then I guess it means taking a bad grade. I'm actually going to tally up my total points to see how badly a D or a C would affect my GPA. Well, it looks like I have a 3.38 right now. If I got a C in the class, it would drop it to a 3.3 and if I got a D in the class, it would drop it to a 3.30 - that's a risk I'm willing to take. I feel like being a slacker. I can make up for it next semester!
So today I went to get something to eat after class and before I had to work. I ordered my food and then I realized that I didn't have my wallet with me. Ooops...So I had Teresa bring it to me. It's a good thing that she was home because Karma was at work and Jamie is out of town for the week. I was so embarassed. The sad part is, is that this is not the first time that this has happened. A few weeks ago, I was eating lunch with Leslie at Quinton's and I realized I had forgotten my wallet then. Les didn't have enough to cover my lunch, too, so I had to leave my book bag with the waitress while we went to get some money. That was the first time I had done that. My short term memory has always been a little bad, but it seems to be worse since I have been pregnant. The reason why it is so easy to forget is because I constantly move my wallet from my purse to my book bag for work and school.
Anyway, I went to Prairie Lights today to pick up some books that I will need for my lit class. $52 for 6 books. Not too bad. Actually, the first three books that I picked up were $4.95 each, and I thought "hey, this won't be too bad" but I got a little ahead of myself because the last three were all over $10.
Sometimes I think I can feel the baby kicking, but I don't know for sure if that's what I am feeling. It seems like it is often after I eat, so I can't tell if they are digestive gurgles or what. But it doesn't really feel like anything I've felt before, so maybe it is the baby. Plus, they said I should start to feel it kicking soon. And he was moving a lot when I had the ultrasound - I was really suprised at how much he was moving around in there and I couldn't feel it.
Well, I am going to go get something to drink and play on the Internet until I get to go home. I think I am going to go to the grocery store tonight. I really need some fresh fruit.
So today I went to get something to eat after class and before I had to work. I ordered my food and then I realized that I didn't have my wallet with me. Ooops...So I had Teresa bring it to me. It's a good thing that she was home because Karma was at work and Jamie is out of town for the week. I was so embarassed. The sad part is, is that this is not the first time that this has happened. A few weeks ago, I was eating lunch with Leslie at Quinton's and I realized I had forgotten my wallet then. Les didn't have enough to cover my lunch, too, so I had to leave my book bag with the waitress while we went to get some money. That was the first time I had done that. My short term memory has always been a little bad, but it seems to be worse since I have been pregnant. The reason why it is so easy to forget is because I constantly move my wallet from my purse to my book bag for work and school.
Anyway, I went to Prairie Lights today to pick up some books that I will need for my lit class. $52 for 6 books. Not too bad. Actually, the first three books that I picked up were $4.95 each, and I thought "hey, this won't be too bad" but I got a little ahead of myself because the last three were all over $10.
Sometimes I think I can feel the baby kicking, but I don't know for sure if that's what I am feeling. It seems like it is often after I eat, so I can't tell if they are digestive gurgles or what. But it doesn't really feel like anything I've felt before, so maybe it is the baby. Plus, they said I should start to feel it kicking soon. And he was moving a lot when I had the ultrasound - I was really suprised at how much he was moving around in there and I couldn't feel it.
Well, I am going to go get something to drink and play on the Internet until I get to go home. I think I am going to go to the grocery store tonight. I really need some fresh fruit.
7.15.2005
The girls
Kris, me, Rachel, Erin and Melissa the summer before we started college (probably the best summer to date)
Happy Friday!!
Well, I am sitting at work, wasting another day. I mean, I don't mind it because it beats being outside (it is hot as sin today) or sitting in our stuffy apartment, but jeez, I am so bored!! I really should be working on homework, but I cannot motivate myself to call my stupid sources so I can write this stupid article. Our teacher gives us automatic points if we submit our stories to the DI or maybe the Press-Citizen, and more points if it is actually published, but I have no desire to see my work in the paper. I think that's a pretty sure sign that I am in the wrong area of study. If I wasn't also majoring in women's studies, my last semester here would be awful.
It's so dorky, but I am getting excited about fall classes. Well, the courses themselves, not having to waddle around campus as big as a watermelon. Not cool. Anyway, I am taking one journalism class (a persuasive writing) and three women's studies classes - women in lit, sexuality and culture and the anthropology of women's health. The last one sounds pretty interesting because subject matter includes pregnancy and birth. Basically, the "mission statement" of the class is to examine how female gender intersects with culture, environment, and political economy to shape the incidence, outcome, and experience of health and sickness among women. Well, I'm excited about it anyway.
I drove back from Des Moines this morning - I am exhausted. I went home yesterday afternoon because I had a colposcopy scheduled. Basically, when I had my pap test done when I was admitted as an OB patient at the clinic I go to, it came back abnormal. The interpretation from the lab results was that there were atypical squamous cells of undetermined significance on my cervix. Try saying that three times fast. So anyway, when the nurse called and told me my lab results that's all she said. She didn't explain it in layman's terms, so I had no idea what it meant. So I looked online to see what I could find out about it. Well, I came across really big scary words like CERVICAL CANCER. So, naturally, I started freaking out. I cried for about two days straight (I'm half blaming that on the circumstances; half on these crazy pregnancy hormones). Anyway, they scheduled to have a colposcopy done, which is basically a procedure in which they take a very small video camera type device to look at the base of my cervix. Just the way I want to spend my afternoon. So I get to the doctor's office, and they don't have me down as having an appointment, so they pulled my charts. Upon doing that, they discovered that I did, indeed, have an appointment, but the doctor who was scheduled to do it was in GUATEMALA!! WTF?? So, they arranged for another doctor (who also happened to be a male) to do the procedure. So I sat in the little room and waited for him to come talk to me. He finally did, and expressed that it was up to me, but he didn't see what good it would do me to have the procedure while I'm still pregnant. He said that it would probably cause bleeding, which is just an unneeded side effect, and that even if they found something unusual, they couldn't start any kinds of treatments or possible surgery until after I gave birth. Because the cells had only minimal changes and they were in no way precancerous, he thought it would be better to have another pap a few months after junior comes and if it is still abnormal then go in with the colposcope to get a better look. So to wrap it all up, I arranged to have someone cover my shift at work, I left class early and I drove two hours to get to an appointment in which the doctor was out of the country and another doctor suggested I didn't have. Can you understand the frustration? But you've probably heard more about my cervix than you ever wanted to know, so I hope we can still be friends after you've read this.
The one good thing about going home was that I was able to take my car into the shop to start repairs from when that punk hit me. Don't know if I mentioned that, but on June 1st, I was coming home from the grocery store and this kid was stopped in the driveway at Gilbert Manor, so I turned left to turn into the parking lot, and before I was all the way into the lot, he pulled out and hit me. I was like "Thanks a lot, pal." So I filed a claim with his insurance company and for the longest time they wouldn't approve it. Then we hear that the little rat told his insurance company that I HIT HIM!! Basically, it was his word against mine because he wouldn't send them a police report. I finally obtained it and sent it to them, and they finally sent me a check for the damages!! Only a month and a half after the accident. I tell you...So anyway, they gave me a rental car - a Hyundai Elantra or something like that. It drives ok, but I wouldn't purchase one like it.
I have to work at Dillard's tonight after I get done at the computer lab, and I have to work Saturday and Sunday, too. :( Actually, once my class is done in two weeks, and my work at the LMC is done until fall classes start, I will finally have some time off. I think I am going to take the first few days of August off and just go home and hang out by Dad's pool all day - I think I deserve it after running around campus in the heat, taking two summer classes, working more than 40 hours a week and enduring an apartment with no air conditioning. Yep, that sounds like a plan. I'd also like to go to the State Fair - who can resist going to the best state fair in the country? Plus, I'd like to go to Okoboji for a few days to relax and see Ann. And the Paterson's. I haven't seen Linda since Mother's Day when I took her flowers. Actually, I was thinking that I might like to ask Jason to be the godfather. Bri will be the godmother. Granted, I could ask Shane if he would perhaps like to ask his brother to be the godfather, but seeing as I've never met the kid, and I know for sure that I'm the parent who will always be around, I think I should be able to pick the godparents. But I don't know if that's wrong...
Well, I've hit my word quota for the day.
It's so dorky, but I am getting excited about fall classes. Well, the courses themselves, not having to waddle around campus as big as a watermelon. Not cool. Anyway, I am taking one journalism class (a persuasive writing) and three women's studies classes - women in lit, sexuality and culture and the anthropology of women's health. The last one sounds pretty interesting because subject matter includes pregnancy and birth. Basically, the "mission statement" of the class is to examine how female gender intersects with culture, environment, and political economy to shape the incidence, outcome, and experience of health and sickness among women. Well, I'm excited about it anyway.
I drove back from Des Moines this morning - I am exhausted. I went home yesterday afternoon because I had a colposcopy scheduled. Basically, when I had my pap test done when I was admitted as an OB patient at the clinic I go to, it came back abnormal. The interpretation from the lab results was that there were atypical squamous cells of undetermined significance on my cervix. Try saying that three times fast. So anyway, when the nurse called and told me my lab results that's all she said. She didn't explain it in layman's terms, so I had no idea what it meant. So I looked online to see what I could find out about it. Well, I came across really big scary words like CERVICAL CANCER. So, naturally, I started freaking out. I cried for about two days straight (I'm half blaming that on the circumstances; half on these crazy pregnancy hormones). Anyway, they scheduled to have a colposcopy done, which is basically a procedure in which they take a very small video camera type device to look at the base of my cervix. Just the way I want to spend my afternoon. So I get to the doctor's office, and they don't have me down as having an appointment, so they pulled my charts. Upon doing that, they discovered that I did, indeed, have an appointment, but the doctor who was scheduled to do it was in GUATEMALA!! WTF?? So, they arranged for another doctor (who also happened to be a male) to do the procedure. So I sat in the little room and waited for him to come talk to me. He finally did, and expressed that it was up to me, but he didn't see what good it would do me to have the procedure while I'm still pregnant. He said that it would probably cause bleeding, which is just an unneeded side effect, and that even if they found something unusual, they couldn't start any kinds of treatments or possible surgery until after I gave birth. Because the cells had only minimal changes and they were in no way precancerous, he thought it would be better to have another pap a few months after junior comes and if it is still abnormal then go in with the colposcope to get a better look. So to wrap it all up, I arranged to have someone cover my shift at work, I left class early and I drove two hours to get to an appointment in which the doctor was out of the country and another doctor suggested I didn't have. Can you understand the frustration? But you've probably heard more about my cervix than you ever wanted to know, so I hope we can still be friends after you've read this.
The one good thing about going home was that I was able to take my car into the shop to start repairs from when that punk hit me. Don't know if I mentioned that, but on June 1st, I was coming home from the grocery store and this kid was stopped in the driveway at Gilbert Manor, so I turned left to turn into the parking lot, and before I was all the way into the lot, he pulled out and hit me. I was like "Thanks a lot, pal." So I filed a claim with his insurance company and for the longest time they wouldn't approve it. Then we hear that the little rat told his insurance company that I HIT HIM!! Basically, it was his word against mine because he wouldn't send them a police report. I finally obtained it and sent it to them, and they finally sent me a check for the damages!! Only a month and a half after the accident. I tell you...So anyway, they gave me a rental car - a Hyundai Elantra or something like that. It drives ok, but I wouldn't purchase one like it.
I have to work at Dillard's tonight after I get done at the computer lab, and I have to work Saturday and Sunday, too. :( Actually, once my class is done in two weeks, and my work at the LMC is done until fall classes start, I will finally have some time off. I think I am going to take the first few days of August off and just go home and hang out by Dad's pool all day - I think I deserve it after running around campus in the heat, taking two summer classes, working more than 40 hours a week and enduring an apartment with no air conditioning. Yep, that sounds like a plan. I'd also like to go to the State Fair - who can resist going to the best state fair in the country? Plus, I'd like to go to Okoboji for a few days to relax and see Ann. And the Paterson's. I haven't seen Linda since Mother's Day when I took her flowers. Actually, I was thinking that I might like to ask Jason to be the godfather. Bri will be the godmother. Granted, I could ask Shane if he would perhaps like to ask his brother to be the godfather, but seeing as I've never met the kid, and I know for sure that I'm the parent who will always be around, I think I should be able to pick the godparents. But I don't know if that's wrong...
Well, I've hit my word quota for the day.
Larissa and I
Yikes - I look awful. First, my hair is extremely frizzy (perhaps I was rolling around on the floor before this was taken). Second, one of my contacts ripped so I had to wear my glasses for weeks. Lastly, my face and neck area look extremely large. This picture was taken in the fall, so I'm hoping I don't look quite as nasty these days.
7.13.2005
It's a boy!!
Well, after my ultrasound a week and a half ago, they were able to determine that Shane and I are having a boy!! I was a little disappointed, because I was so looking foward to the cute little dresses and the like, but as long as the baby is healthy, I'm great!! Plus, my cousin reminded me that there are tons of cute little suits with BOW TIES!! Aww, how precious!!
Anyway, I am just counting down the days until this summer class is over!! It is intensely boring and I feel I am learning nothing. I'm just hoping for a B...I'd really just like to do as little as possible to get by. That sounds so lazy, but journalism just isn't something that interests me anymore.
I was so bored today at work (another reason why I am looking foward to the summer session being over - no more LMC for huge blocks of time) that I decorated my planner. It actually looks pretty neat because the cover is transparent, but it has these neat little designs on it. So I taped pictures and quotes on the first and last pages, so you can see them through the covers. But while I was looking through quotes, I came across one that I thought Jamie might like a whole lot. It goes, "Only when the last tree has died, and the last river has been poisoned, and the las fish has been caught will we realize we cannot eat money." So I decided since I am in a crafy mood today that I will go home and make her a collage with that quote painted in the middle of it. And I'm going to stick a bunch of stuff on the canvas around it, like a tin can and maybe one of those plastic things that are around six packs of soda...and some bark and the like and create a river with paint, dirt and then hot glue on the top, so it is all 3D. I think it's going to be pretty rad.
Anyway, I better get going.
Anyway, I am just counting down the days until this summer class is over!! It is intensely boring and I feel I am learning nothing. I'm just hoping for a B...I'd really just like to do as little as possible to get by. That sounds so lazy, but journalism just isn't something that interests me anymore.
I was so bored today at work (another reason why I am looking foward to the summer session being over - no more LMC for huge blocks of time) that I decorated my planner. It actually looks pretty neat because the cover is transparent, but it has these neat little designs on it. So I taped pictures and quotes on the first and last pages, so you can see them through the covers. But while I was looking through quotes, I came across one that I thought Jamie might like a whole lot. It goes, "Only when the last tree has died, and the last river has been poisoned, and the las fish has been caught will we realize we cannot eat money." So I decided since I am in a crafy mood today that I will go home and make her a collage with that quote painted in the middle of it. And I'm going to stick a bunch of stuff on the canvas around it, like a tin can and maybe one of those plastic things that are around six packs of soda...and some bark and the like and create a river with paint, dirt and then hot glue on the top, so it is all 3D. I think it's going to be pretty rad.
Anyway, I better get going.
6.30.2005
Jamie and I
For a costume party, Jamie started out as the girl from the Big Comfy Couch but then we found this duck costume. I went as Miss Lippy from Billy Madison...but I think I should have made my eyebrows bigger and smeared glue on my face to really get the point across.
50 Things About Me
1. The “hangy ball” in the back of my throat is crooked.
2. When I was about twelve, I thought I discovered a murder. I burst through our front door and told my mom to call the police. Turns out, a deer had fallen down some rocks and into the creek.
3. I’m afraid I’m not good at anything. I mean, not truly talented at any one thing.
4. I never got to go to an overnight summer camp and I have always been a little bitter about it.
5. The past three years of my life have been spent working towards a journalism degree. I don’t plan to ever use it.
6. Last year, I got hit by a car that was sliding on ice. All my drunk friends ran to get out of the way, while I, the only sober one of the group, just stood there.
7. Part of me wants to start going to church again.
8. I deeply regret every time I called my sister fat when we were kids.
9. I’m tired of all the dishonest people in the world who can’t seem to do the right thing. For example, the kid who hit my car earlier this month and now claims that I was the one who hit him.
10. I have a secret love for “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
11. Making financial ends meet is a continuous problem for me.
12. In grade school, we watched a movie and our teacher brought popcorn for everyone. Heather Barrett and I stayed behind after everyone threw away their popcorn and went to recess to eat the remaining popcorn out of the garbage.
13. If I could do high school all over again, I wouldn’t.
14. I wish photography wasn’t such an expensive hobby.
15. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I’d like to be one of those moms who turns their home into a haunted house for the neighbor kids.
16. I would roll down the hill in my backyard everyday if I didn’t have to walk back up.
17. When I was about ten years old, an older kid offered me an Altoid on the bus, but I said no because I thought they were drugs.
18. My first soccer team was the Pink Panthers in 2nd grade. I played until my senior year in high school, when I quit two weeks before districts. I still regret that.
19. It irritates me immensely when people don’t turn into the correct lane.
20. I once called my grandma an “old fart” because my cousins dared me to. She was extremely mad.
21. My first kiss was Jerod Collins in 8th grade. We went to a haunted house at the mall, and he kissed me in the car on the way home. My mom asked me when I got home if I had been kissing a boy. She claims that she knew when she first saw me, but to this day she won’t tell me how.
22. I used to want a bowl cut.
23. I wish I had more time to cook. Actually, I wish I knew how to cook.
24. I’m so glad that there is a system in place that takes complaints of domestic violence so seriously. But I despise women, like my witch of a stepmother, who know the trigger words and cry wolf.
25. I’m obsessed with ice cream cakes from Dairy Queen.
26. I wish our country was run by someone who appreciates that there are so many different cultures, religions and belief systems in our nation, and wouldn’t inflict laws and policies based on his own personal convictions. That’s not freedom.
27. I’ve always wondered whose job it is to test mattresses. I’d be great to get paid to nap.
28. In driver’s ed. we had to do a driving simulation every week where we sat in a little machine and then “drove” based on what we saw on the TV screen. I once drove for an entire class period in neutral. I got a zero for the day.
29. Laughing is quite possibly one of the best sounds in the world.
30. One time I jumped into the deep end of the pool to impress my cousins, even though I didn’t know how to swim. I ended up swallowing a bunch of water and spent the rest of the afternoon belching.
31. I work at a computer lab at school and I don’t know the first thing about computers.
32. After a brief obsession with the Babysitter Club books, a few friends and I decided we wanted to start our own babysitting club. It never quite took off.
33. I can’t sleep with my bedroom door open. My mom attributes it to how adamant I was about fire safety after a firefighter came to talk to our preschool class.
34. I hate when people don’t hold the door for you.
35. I really hate when men cat call or make comments when they’re driving past you.
36. I used to think braces and retainers were cool. Since I never needed them, I would create makeshift retainers out of paper clips.
37. I’m slightly obsessed with cheese.
38. I’d rather give presents at Christmas than receive them.
39. I went through a stage in high school where I couldn’t stop buying clothes. All my graduation money went towards paying off my shopping bills.
40. I’ve learned that first impressions are always wrong.
41. I’d love to go to Europe someday. My dad has taught me to appreciate traveling.
42. I wish I was better about keeping a journal.
43. One time at lunch in middle school, I dropped a brownie underneath the table and I bent over to retrieve it. My head was in between my legs underneath the table when I realized I was stuck.
44. Right before our D.A.R.E. graduation in middle school, I was accused of sexually harassing someone. Mrs. Coppock made me sit in a closet. I had no idea what sexual harassment was.
45. I used to love watching lightning storms with my dad from our front porch.
46. When someone broke into our house when I was about six years old, a neighbor and I were the ones who discovered the broken window in the basement.
47. My friends and I used to sign up for all kinds of committees in middle school just so we could be pictured in the yearbook more.
48. I love who I see in the mirror.
49. My friends and family are the single most important things in my life. I have the most amazing support network.
50. I now have the greatest challenge as well as the great joy growing inside me.
2. When I was about twelve, I thought I discovered a murder. I burst through our front door and told my mom to call the police. Turns out, a deer had fallen down some rocks and into the creek.
3. I’m afraid I’m not good at anything. I mean, not truly talented at any one thing.
4. I never got to go to an overnight summer camp and I have always been a little bitter about it.
5. The past three years of my life have been spent working towards a journalism degree. I don’t plan to ever use it.
6. Last year, I got hit by a car that was sliding on ice. All my drunk friends ran to get out of the way, while I, the only sober one of the group, just stood there.
7. Part of me wants to start going to church again.
8. I deeply regret every time I called my sister fat when we were kids.
9. I’m tired of all the dishonest people in the world who can’t seem to do the right thing. For example, the kid who hit my car earlier this month and now claims that I was the one who hit him.
10. I have a secret love for “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
11. Making financial ends meet is a continuous problem for me.
12. In grade school, we watched a movie and our teacher brought popcorn for everyone. Heather Barrett and I stayed behind after everyone threw away their popcorn and went to recess to eat the remaining popcorn out of the garbage.
13. If I could do high school all over again, I wouldn’t.
14. I wish photography wasn’t such an expensive hobby.
15. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I’d like to be one of those moms who turns their home into a haunted house for the neighbor kids.
16. I would roll down the hill in my backyard everyday if I didn’t have to walk back up.
17. When I was about ten years old, an older kid offered me an Altoid on the bus, but I said no because I thought they were drugs.
18. My first soccer team was the Pink Panthers in 2nd grade. I played until my senior year in high school, when I quit two weeks before districts. I still regret that.
19. It irritates me immensely when people don’t turn into the correct lane.
20. I once called my grandma an “old fart” because my cousins dared me to. She was extremely mad.
21. My first kiss was Jerod Collins in 8th grade. We went to a haunted house at the mall, and he kissed me in the car on the way home. My mom asked me when I got home if I had been kissing a boy. She claims that she knew when she first saw me, but to this day she won’t tell me how.
22. I used to want a bowl cut.
23. I wish I had more time to cook. Actually, I wish I knew how to cook.
24. I’m so glad that there is a system in place that takes complaints of domestic violence so seriously. But I despise women, like my witch of a stepmother, who know the trigger words and cry wolf.
25. I’m obsessed with ice cream cakes from Dairy Queen.
26. I wish our country was run by someone who appreciates that there are so many different cultures, religions and belief systems in our nation, and wouldn’t inflict laws and policies based on his own personal convictions. That’s not freedom.
27. I’ve always wondered whose job it is to test mattresses. I’d be great to get paid to nap.
28. In driver’s ed. we had to do a driving simulation every week where we sat in a little machine and then “drove” based on what we saw on the TV screen. I once drove for an entire class period in neutral. I got a zero for the day.
29. Laughing is quite possibly one of the best sounds in the world.
30. One time I jumped into the deep end of the pool to impress my cousins, even though I didn’t know how to swim. I ended up swallowing a bunch of water and spent the rest of the afternoon belching.
31. I work at a computer lab at school and I don’t know the first thing about computers.
32. After a brief obsession with the Babysitter Club books, a few friends and I decided we wanted to start our own babysitting club. It never quite took off.
33. I can’t sleep with my bedroom door open. My mom attributes it to how adamant I was about fire safety after a firefighter came to talk to our preschool class.
34. I hate when people don’t hold the door for you.
35. I really hate when men cat call or make comments when they’re driving past you.
36. I used to think braces and retainers were cool. Since I never needed them, I would create makeshift retainers out of paper clips.
37. I’m slightly obsessed with cheese.
38. I’d rather give presents at Christmas than receive them.
39. I went through a stage in high school where I couldn’t stop buying clothes. All my graduation money went towards paying off my shopping bills.
40. I’ve learned that first impressions are always wrong.
41. I’d love to go to Europe someday. My dad has taught me to appreciate traveling.
42. I wish I was better about keeping a journal.
43. One time at lunch in middle school, I dropped a brownie underneath the table and I bent over to retrieve it. My head was in between my legs underneath the table when I realized I was stuck.
44. Right before our D.A.R.E. graduation in middle school, I was accused of sexually harassing someone. Mrs. Coppock made me sit in a closet. I had no idea what sexual harassment was.
45. I used to love watching lightning storms with my dad from our front porch.
46. When someone broke into our house when I was about six years old, a neighbor and I were the ones who discovered the broken window in the basement.
47. My friends and I used to sign up for all kinds of committees in middle school just so we could be pictured in the yearbook more.
48. I love who I see in the mirror.
49. My friends and family are the single most important things in my life. I have the most amazing support network.
50. I now have the greatest challenge as well as the great joy growing inside me.
6.28.2005
Commitment Issues...
Ok, seriously, I started this journal so that I could have a healthy outlet for all frustrations and the like, but I am doing an awful job at keeping up with it. It's been 6 months since I last wrote anything. Geez, I have a lot of catching up to do. Where to start?
Well, I guess I can start with the most obvious change in my life. In April, I found out that I am pregnant. But, ah, I haven't even mentioned Shane because we started dating around the time I stopped writing. Well, anyway, he and I have been together for awhile now - probably not long enough to be having a baby together, but life can throw you some pretty hard curve balls. Anyway, things are going pretty well with that so far. My parents are incredibly supportive and so far everything is okay with the baby. I have an ultrasound this Friday, and hopefully they will be able to tell me if it is a boy or a girl. I'd really like a girl, but Shane wants a boy. But as long as the baby is healthy I'm great. The due date right now is November 23, and I will FINALLY be done with school then!! I have already gotten in contact with my teachers to let them know the situation, and to see if there is any way that I could have an accelerated schedule so that I could be done with all my coursework by Thanksgiving break. Most have been extremely receptive to that idea.
I have yet to meet Shane's parents, and they have yet to be informed of junior. I keep nagging Shane to tell them, because I would imagine that being told something of this nature at the last minute would be a little upsetting. But he insists that he knows his parents and he doesn't want to stress them out with this news because they already have enough on their plate. And granted, they do, but I don't think that neglecting to tell them will make the situation any better. Actually, Shane's sister is also pregnant, and she just moved back home. She was a teacher, but I don't know if she is going to continue doing that after she has her baby in September (or maybe late August, I can't remember) because the guy is no longer in the picture - she hasn't told her family who the dad is. To top it off, Shane's younger sister, who just graduated high school, was recently diagnosed with MS, and he hinted that she might not have been as receptive to treatments as they had hoped.
Shane is also concerned that the drinking that I did before we found out might harm the baby, and his biggest fear is having a baby with birth defects, etc. I talked it over with my physicians and they said that many women drink in the first few weeks, or months of their pregnancy because they don't know they're pregnant, and have had perfectly healthy babies. I think I was about 7 weeks when I found out, and obviously haven't had a drop of alcohol since then, so hopefully all is well. I go on Spring Break and celebrated a 21st shortly before I found out. Unfortunately, they don't know if there is any safe amount of alcohol intake when you're pregnant.
I'm planning on moving back home with my mom after I have the baby - I feel comfortable with her, and she has the room and is willing and able to help me out until I get a fantastic job. Shane is a teacher, so he has a stable (although small) income. He works at a school that is about 50 miles from home and recently moved out there because the drive in the mornings was getting too tiring. There would be nothing for me to do in that small town in terms of jobs, so I wouldn't be able to be there with him. Plus, I don't know that we're ready to live together. Part of me wants to so that he can be there nightly to get up for feedings and changings, but on the other hand, he doesn't know the first thing about caring for an infant, and I know I will feel much more comfortable with my mom. Then I was looking at a two bedroom, two full bath townhouse close to home that would be awesome!! It has two floors so it would feel more like a house as opposed to a cramped apartment, and it has 1100 sqaure feet. Not too shabby. Who knows, maybe at that point, Shane might be willing to move back to Des Moines.
Well, that's enough for now, even though there is so much more to say. But I am at work, and I think I am going to go make some popcorn, and then find something else to do so that I look busy!!
Well, I guess I can start with the most obvious change in my life. In April, I found out that I am pregnant. But, ah, I haven't even mentioned Shane because we started dating around the time I stopped writing. Well, anyway, he and I have been together for awhile now - probably not long enough to be having a baby together, but life can throw you some pretty hard curve balls. Anyway, things are going pretty well with that so far. My parents are incredibly supportive and so far everything is okay with the baby. I have an ultrasound this Friday, and hopefully they will be able to tell me if it is a boy or a girl. I'd really like a girl, but Shane wants a boy. But as long as the baby is healthy I'm great. The due date right now is November 23, and I will FINALLY be done with school then!! I have already gotten in contact with my teachers to let them know the situation, and to see if there is any way that I could have an accelerated schedule so that I could be done with all my coursework by Thanksgiving break. Most have been extremely receptive to that idea.
I have yet to meet Shane's parents, and they have yet to be informed of junior. I keep nagging Shane to tell them, because I would imagine that being told something of this nature at the last minute would be a little upsetting. But he insists that he knows his parents and he doesn't want to stress them out with this news because they already have enough on their plate. And granted, they do, but I don't think that neglecting to tell them will make the situation any better. Actually, Shane's sister is also pregnant, and she just moved back home. She was a teacher, but I don't know if she is going to continue doing that after she has her baby in September (or maybe late August, I can't remember) because the guy is no longer in the picture - she hasn't told her family who the dad is. To top it off, Shane's younger sister, who just graduated high school, was recently diagnosed with MS, and he hinted that she might not have been as receptive to treatments as they had hoped.
Shane is also concerned that the drinking that I did before we found out might harm the baby, and his biggest fear is having a baby with birth defects, etc. I talked it over with my physicians and they said that many women drink in the first few weeks, or months of their pregnancy because they don't know they're pregnant, and have had perfectly healthy babies. I think I was about 7 weeks when I found out, and obviously haven't had a drop of alcohol since then, so hopefully all is well. I go on Spring Break and celebrated a 21st shortly before I found out. Unfortunately, they don't know if there is any safe amount of alcohol intake when you're pregnant.
I'm planning on moving back home with my mom after I have the baby - I feel comfortable with her, and she has the room and is willing and able to help me out until I get a fantastic job. Shane is a teacher, so he has a stable (although small) income. He works at a school that is about 50 miles from home and recently moved out there because the drive in the mornings was getting too tiring. There would be nothing for me to do in that small town in terms of jobs, so I wouldn't be able to be there with him. Plus, I don't know that we're ready to live together. Part of me wants to so that he can be there nightly to get up for feedings and changings, but on the other hand, he doesn't know the first thing about caring for an infant, and I know I will feel much more comfortable with my mom. Then I was looking at a two bedroom, two full bath townhouse close to home that would be awesome!! It has two floors so it would feel more like a house as opposed to a cramped apartment, and it has 1100 sqaure feet. Not too shabby. Who knows, maybe at that point, Shane might be willing to move back to Des Moines.
Well, that's enough for now, even though there is so much more to say. But I am at work, and I think I am going to go make some popcorn, and then find something else to do so that I look busy!!
1.19.2005
Happy Second Semester!!
Brand new semester!! My classes have been going well so far, but I haven't been to all of them. My editing workshop seems like it will be a little tedious, but I think it will make me a stronger writer, so it should be worth my while. We actually have tests in that class, though, which I found a little suprising since there's only so much grammar that you can be tested over. Then I had my photography class, which I am truly excited for. The professor said that it was going to be a whole lot of work though, which I expected, but he was talking in total camera jargon last night, so I am a little nervous. There is a recommended book that we get, and while I really don't want to spend more money than I have to, I think it would be beneficial in learning more about lighting and the like. Then I had my Intro to Women's Studies class today, which I think will be interesting. It will probably reiterate a lot of topics that I have discussed in previous classes, but with new insight.
We are having our first party of the semester on Friday!! It is a pirate themed party, and it should be a grand old time!! Hopefully, we will make some money so that we don't have to pay next month's cable or electric. That's the plan anyway. We have to head to Goodwill tonight to get the rest of the party gear!! I can't wait to get pictures and start sending them to Pam and Tony.
We are having our first party of the semester on Friday!! It is a pirate themed party, and it should be a grand old time!! Hopefully, we will make some money so that we don't have to pay next month's cable or electric. That's the plan anyway. We have to head to Goodwill tonight to get the rest of the party gear!! I can't wait to get pictures and start sending them to Pam and Tony.
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